| advertisement |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator (server) Tue Apr 06 01:00:23 PM EDT 2010
Our special chat with Joe Solowiejczyk about Processing the Most Difficult starts at 2pm Eastern.
Hi All
Thought I would let you know I was here. I suspect we will be very British and reserved, so thought I would go out on the dance floor first and begin bopping round my handbag - lol
I'm here too jacqui: defintely no handbag !
Hi Jacqui & Liz, I am here now too
lol, lets try not to be too British & reserved tonight!
I am here too, but may pop in and out until 7pm. Didn't think I would get here, but hurrah! Lacking handbag :(
That reminds me of a flight, when something happened, I won't elaborate now as totally the wrong time, but everyone was very reserved about it and hardly blinked ... sums us up very well!
Hi Angie
I am here popping in and out as hubby not back.... hi all!
Hi Aileen.
Tom has just shouted 'Mum, I'm on 5.5 and its Come Dine with Me.' He knows me so well!
Joe emailed to say he's settled in the Delta lounge and just getting his internet connection going... hopefully there won't be a hitch!
Will Laura be here to patrol this chat like she did the last one, or will someone else be taking the reins?
Laura is at Trent's funeral today
ah - OK
In her absence Jackie and I will try our best and I think Jeff if coming in to introduce Joe
sounds good.
Unusually my 3 children have found a film they all want to watch! only the dog is trying to attract my attention!
lol, lets hope so!
What are they watching Liz?
Cool running
that is soooo funny!! Cool runnings!
Ah - good film - hopefully that will keep them out the way for an hour
Alice has just plugged in the wii and is creating *yet more* mii's
hubby just arrived hooray!!
Hi Debra
Joe has been animating all afternoon and is still at it. Tom is watching Come Dine with Me and Olly is cooking chilli which I will probably have to eat half way through. We are going for a walk along the beach with the kids this evening as it is Easter Holidays. That will cheer me back up, I am sure. Oh, and the white wine I have chilling!
is Joe doing computer animation Jacqui?
Sounds great Jacqui ... wish I was with you!
hi all. 3 nights in a row in here it's becoming a bit of a habit
Yes, with a little plasticine man and a lego robot. Can just imagine him and george doing that together for hours! lol
I suspect Julian will walk thru door shortly and wonder why I am on computer and his tea is not ready!
howdy doody people. hope we're all well.
That would be just George's cup of tea: we really must get together!
Alice animates too - keeps her busy for hours!
All well here thanks Paula
Marc's another animator!
Hi Sue and Paula
Hey, Joe would love to share some animations with the others. That would be a nice way to chat with other D kids. On off-topic maybe?
Hiya Sue & Paula
A couple of Alice's animations are on you tube - search for thejewellhouse if you are interested - Dinosaur! is quite good
anyone else feeling a bit like this is the calm before the storm. like before a game of bingo, then once it all kicks off its a bit mad!
Aileen abit of housekeeping here, do we have to say who we are talking replying to ? how does it work or just do as we are now? thanks
Oh I'll look later, thanks Angie. Don't want to open any more pages just now or I will get more confused!
@debra - this is one way to do it
Oh I never think of things like You tube. I am so technically out of things!Will look and get Joe to post some of his on there too. he is a total perfectionist though, and won't put anything up that he is not happy with. So may not happen for years!
Hi all
Hi Everyone
@angie - ta
If you are aiming a reply or question to someone I would put there name first... also please ask again if we miss anything...
@Angiej it just took me ages to find the @ button! lol
lol!
Hi Jackie
@JD -
Hi all, Bev here! Not sure if i will stay - might get to o
heavy and not sure what to expect? Bev
hi all im ready.
Hi Guys! just checking in a wee bit early to make sure
Hi Aileen
Hi Joe
Hi Bev and April
well - this is cosy - maybe we should just hang out here every now and then for a natter!
@aileen - great thanks and Hi Joe!
Hi Joe
Hi Joe! I nearly missed you there!
we do already
hi there!
Hi Joe
dont no if will beable to keep up but will try.
Aileen are you on a big screen?
Our special chat with Joe Solowiejczyk about Processing the Most Difficult starts in 10 min in the 'Joe S' room.
@ April - maybe change the update to 15 secs does help abit
We have been doing Angie, it went in to the wee hours last night! Marisa was here, but refrained from here wine
@JJ are we now getting competitive about screen size?! lol!
Geez! If I can anyone can _and everyone is welcome to reach me by e-mail later on at jsolowie@its.jnj.com
No, a laptop... is that my problem?
@ joe - thats super thanks
Funny - I hang out on the US forums, and very rarely se anyone in the chat rooms - must be looking at the wrong times!
My pleasure!
Hi angie I was wondering if Ailee was having problems cos of a small screen size when it is easy to lose track
@ Angie Who are you there? I am Alba37 (I think?)
Hi - first time on a chat room - is anybody there? Jacqui
hi jacqui
yep..I'm in too but just trying to put someone to bed aswell
well Aileen and I have been looking in most evenings even if its for a short time between replying to the 100s of emails on the UK list
Yes! Hi Jacqui ! good to see you here !
@Aileen - I am angiej on the US boards
hi Jacqui E
Wow - this is great Hi
Yah! Hi helen!!
Hi Guys, just getting a coffee before we get going!
better on 15secs
is danni not here? she's been one of the practice posse.
good idea aileen me 2.
Hello everyone..also having a skype convesation too...how tecchie am I...not very is the answer
have I got time to get a glass of wine before the chat starts?
Husband's tea sorted, dog banished and cup of tea to hand: I'm ready!
I'm ready now too!
I'm here, thanks Bev for reminding me, not done this before
Yes go Jacqui!
Hi Adrienne
hi adrienne
Hi Adrienne. I think this is new to most of us!
Hi Adrienne!
@Adrienne, glad your here - i feel nervous!
Hi Adrienne
I don't know where Danni is...
ah the wine...where would we be without it?
Thanks for the drink reminder - hot sweet chai now made. I'm ready!
Got coffee (wish it was wine but that hurts - jacqui have one for me)
@aileen- just sent post on CWD
Thanks Debra
I will take you at your word, Adrienne! lol
have text danni
Hey guys
hi becca
hi Becca!
Hi all, will just listen in for a while . Never chatted before
Will do - feel a bit bad when you are all being good with the tea and coffee.
Let's start with some parameters, as a way of putting the recent events into context, without judging anybody, but in order to make sense of something so difficult: Most kids and people with diabetes have incredibly vibrant, full lives. usually, unless someone is not taking care of themselves, or there are really extenuating circumstances, people rarely die from diabetes while they're managing it and living with it. And hypos have to be really, really really bad for that to happen. usually, dying from a hypo has to do with poor management, or mismanagement. I've been living with it for 49 years now and NONE of my friends have died from hypos. It happens sometimes, but rarely. And when it happens, it's tough-for all of us left standing, realizing how serious this disease really is. But we all forge on, accepting the realities and counting the blessings of being able to have full lives.
HI Becca
Hey Becca
Aileen, will you get us started?
Does anyone want to ask joe a particular question?
Great, Joe. thanks for doing this for us
ready when you guys are
Or we have some of the questions written down Aileen can post one of these
So the fisrt question we have
Lisa, can?t make it tonight as she is working, she has a 9 year old son Harry dx April 2009 and would like to ask:
In the case of a 9yr old how would you explain a diabetes related death to them?
sounds good
that sounds like a plan Jackie
I havent told my son about the recent deaths - should i?
I?m not sure that I would use the word ?death? for a 9 year old, unless of course he/she had already heard someone talk about it. I would say that it?s important to be responsible, and sometimes, when people don?t take care of themselves they can get into a real mess. If they have already heard that someone has died, then i would say that usually, most people if they?re taking care of themselves, don?t die. That?s extremely unusual!!! I would emphasize that if you are responsible and take care of yourself together with the fact that we (your parents) are so on top of taking care of you and watching out that nothing happens, that you?re pretty safe! We promise
I don't want to worry my teen unnecessarily, but I don't want to hide these things from her either. Do I wait for a right moment or just go for it?
thanks Joe that is what I needed to hear as well
Alice has asked me directly whether she can die from a hypo. She is not aware of the recent cases. What are your thoughts on how to respond to this?
no, I wouldn't-what would be the point. the message u want to convey is that it will be hard but you can do it!
A question asked by Jacqui D
How do I handle having kids of different ages with type 1 who may need different answers to the same question. I am very reassuring and yet honest with them both, but I have a very anxious younger son and don't want to be creating divides, making one aware of something they shouldn't mention to the other. Any ideas?
I think for me its about what is the right age.... is there a right age?
The answer is: Not really, you don't have to be so honest in detail-paint genral scenarios for the kids, in a positive vein
Hi Jo - trouble is Jo - we may not want to worry them but the internet does a good job of that there is so much mis-information on it.
The same way that you treat all other growth and developmental issues-you don?t treat both of them the same when it comes to chores, school work, life issues. The older one cognitively and emotionally can handle more complexity and ambiguity than the younger one. Why would you treat them the same in diabetes if you don?t in life in general? Each according to his maturity and capacity for understanding.
yes good point Jacqui
As Laura said you have to go on living you cant be paralysed by fear
Well-then really give them a good dose of insulation!
I think the more positive the better! You don?t go around at home talking about the fact that all life ends in death, say, as the topic for conversation at breakfast because you want to tell your kids about the truth and that they should know that this whole thing called life just ends in death!!!!!
Same here ? be as positive as possible, encouraging, promoting them to really unfold into their lives and at the same time being realistic. As we who have gotten older know too well-we?ll figure out what it?s all about when we get older. Really no need to burden the kids with our existential concerns and dilemnas-be very careful about who the message is intended for ? you or them!
You should acknowledge the fear but not be organized by it.
Thats so true, we probably worry more that our children about the things which "might" happen
Just to clarify - Should we acknowlegde our fear, or their fear
Our kids with diabetes and their brothers and sisters grow up faster than their peers. They're like old souls, they know stuff, but we need to be there to help them figure stuff out gently, over time
Jacqui D Mum to Tom, dx 18 months old now 10, and Joe, dx 8 years old now 13; both pumping Medtronic 722 using Sils and full time sensors:would also like to know..
I also want to ask at what point does privacy overtake the need to hear sensor alarms for a teen with no hypo awareness at night. I want to use a baby alarm in his room to hear the too quiet alarms but feel worried this is a bad move for a 13 year old but he is keen to have a sentry device when they come out as he likes the reassurance of me being able to monitor his sensor overnight. Any thoughts?
Acknowledge everybody's, AND move forward. fear is healthy, but indulging it is not, I think
I also think if kids see adults dealing with life and fear and the whole journey it sets an example about life going on and making the best of it. No one knows what the future holds
I think the privacy thing is important, to go with each person's sense about it. Check in with the kids first about how they'd like to do it, then accommodate as much as you can, try it and seew how it goes
I think it's a hard one, I would feel better if I had a monitor, but Marc wouldn't have it
Yep I'm with Jacqui on that question. I am still using a baby monitor due 10 years down the line and am waiting for the sentry device. Thanks for the answer, this is what I thought
Absolutely! And, as as lwarence sadid in lawrence of Arabi, A man writes his own destiny! we have all thje tools and the oppourtunities
I have noticed that adults who live with type 1 diabetes frequently indicate that the think that parents make too much fuss.... I wonder if we, as parents , live in fear far more than the children or the adults they grow up to be.
The important thing is to recognize what's your stuff, as the parent, and what's theirs. They will foloow your lead. Some things need to be kept at adult level, not a discusiion with the kids. if they bring it up, be as spositve as possible and real, not scarey
I think we do!
I think it's much more dicfficult for the parents-these are your children and you're responsible for them.
Yes I think we do as well, especially with all the information that we know today
Yep - children also think they are immortla - whereas we are probably a bit more aware of what can go wrong
I think thats so true JJ - I get told to chill out all the time !
very true - yet at some point in the teens we need to hand over to them gradually. This is never going to be an easy ride
I am sure thats true Jackie. it's very hard to seperate our feelings from what our children are feeling.
As a parent you have to come to terms with the experience of powerlessness-to prevent the disease and to make it go away. that is a deep existential issue, resolved slowly over time with knowledge and expeirence
we are the way we are because we are dealing with it for them as young children they are totally dependent on us... and sometimes I feel so exhausted by it and then someone on the outside says you fuss too much!!
That's what's hard, coming to terms with powelessness
if you're not feeling exahusted you';re not doing it :-)
hahahaha Joe, so true
... and any death in the CWD community simply highlights that powerlessness
The older you get the more powerless you are aware you are anyway! Middle age sucks!
thanks Joe from you that feels good to hear!!
(that we have over D)
I say the serenity prayer for myself and my diabetes 5 times/day! it works. it's normal to be depressed from time to time, it's normal to breakdown and cry. It's not normal to hold it all in.
lol Marisa!
@Joe - yes
what is the serenity prayer - I have heard it referred to before?
People who don't live with this don't understand how much work it takes just to step out the door in the morning!
Yeah, I loved your accounts of your "Diabetes days" Joe
@Angie, have a search on google, it's lovely
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot chnge, the courage to chnge the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference!
thanks
thanks
I used to agonise over whther my parenting was good enough before Tom was diagnosed. With Diabetes it gives you something very tangible to beat yourself up over. I regard it as part of my job - and definietly my partners - to make sure I don't do that to myself very often.
i love that. so meaningful. i always remember it being on a plaque above my grandma's fireplace when i was little.
yes it is very pertinent and fits in with our lives...
Sue, who is here, Mum to Sam, 12, dx 04/06, Injecting Novorapid and Levemir, Also mum to Tom 20 and Josh 14, would like to ask :
'how is the best way to react when some idiot, takes great pleasure in relating a tale (in front of your child) along the lines of how they knew a teenager who died because they went hypo, whilst out clubbing and everyone thought they were just drunk '
We have had similar happen (usually from strangers/casual acquaintances) on a few occasions. I just feel myself getting all angry and emotional would be nice to have a reply to hand that would reassure the child and shut the idiot up.
When I eventually hand over the reigns to my son - do you think he will re-live all the shock of it all over again? I means when is he 16 or older.
We as adults, must provide as positive an attitude as possible for the kids to get the message that it's difficult AND doaanle. There are those guys that have climbed mount everest! I think Sebastain Saseville's mother camped out at the summit camp to make sure that he didn't go low :-)
You tell that idiot thank you for confirming for you already knew-that there is no shortage of stupid. Clearly these kind of people are a a combination of stupid and sadistic at times, and I would protect my child as if someone were abusing them. Call them as many names as make you feel better and have your kids start screaming at them as well. They?re, as they say in the States, Knuckleheads!
love it
lol! Brilliant!
Brilliant. My kids love being allowed to swear! lol
love that one Joe - we shall carry on screaming then
my pleasure! Geez, some people are so stupid. remind me to tell you of an incident aboard a flight. I had the stupidest flight attendant on the planet
It's good to know that our first reaction is the right one!!
Joe? Can you tell us now...
Totally! Always trust your gut. The brain filters too much ;-)
Another question springs to mind is not HOW do we tell the kids but do we? My 10 year old doesn't know about the recent happenings in the USA but she does know about the young girl over here as we knew her. Should I tell her about the others or not? She may find out as she goes on my computer but she may not. To tell or not too tell, that is the question?
It's so long, but I was having a low and for the life of me couldn't get them to get me some juice. The flught attendant askjed me that if i had diabetes why did I want juice! I really almost strangled her
Yes - thats a good question. I know Cam saw my facebook profile - but he hasn't said anything. I'm waiting for him - or should I be more proactive
Oh no! I hope she got it quick after that?
Also Jo - if siblings ask - don't want to burden them with something to worry about that god willing will never happen.
sorry i am joining late - had a phone call!
Have a discussion based on the points that we've already discussed. Your kids hear about alot of things form a variety of incoming sources that are NOT you and you manaage to make that balance between positive yet real, not macabre!
No problem, Hi Fi. Better late than never!
Ok thanks Joe
Good point our kids may well be hearing things at school etc, that we are unaware of
Real AND positive, How do you deal with questions about life and death with your kids? You don't sit down and read them sartre or Kierkegard when they're young, do you?
Lizzie had a bad hypo last night on an easy jet flight they were brilliant and knew exactly what to do - cheap airline but good with hypos! Sorry off topic
One thing that worries me is how to encourage self management - my daughter is only 4 but she is a girl and already head strong... cos we are proactive now does this necessarily be instilled in her later on ?? if you get my drift...
@Jacqui E: Hello there, from the button factory!!!!!!
But should we actively bring this subject up in order that we can manage the situation? For example I am not sure Alice is aware of the UK death (within this community) yet each year we visit a place that has her memorial tree - should we bring it up or wait to be asked?
the way to encourage self-managementis the way you "encourage" them to do their homework!!!! If you don't do it, no iPod :-)
I wouldnt bring the subject up unless I was asked
that made me laugh out loud !!!
i'm same as you debra. jess is only 3 so fear hasn't even entered her head yet. not about D anyway. i guess i just try to drip feed the importance of good care. same as we drip feed about crossing the road each time we do it
Do you guys negotiate with your kids about how many days a week they will go to school?
very true Paula
Hope the button making is still going well!!
@joe - you right and some - thanks
Joe How can you manage that with older kids? I couldn't get his ipod off him if I tried!
@angiej: I woulod wait for it to come up, or gently ask her if she has any thoughts about the place.
Re self management..should we discipline then for not looking after themselves?
Deb I would tell your daughter that diabetes is one of the medical conditions where you get a say in how things turn out... with a lot of medical conditions there is no chance to change the outcome
good question Danni (and hi by the way)
thanks - I will give it some further thought
@JacquiE; apologies for not getting back to you sooner-more than swamped at the button factory-am coming to uk in may-will send you the dates so we can get together and you can meet my girlfriend! we work in the factory together
@ JJ - yes very very good thing to say especially at her age and sisters....
cool Jacqui
Please-feel free to e-mail me at jsolowie@its.jnj.com if you need to pursue any of the points discyussed.
Any other questions? Thoughts? Difficulties?
HI Danni and good question.
Yes, I have another couple here... 2 secs
I currently tell Emma certain things are not negotiable but I do try and let her have a choice when I can, just hope it lays off but then other people say I give in to her too much, but my logic isat least 5 times a day we are not going to negotiate so if I give in over something little does it really matter....maybe when she is a teen I might have a different view
Only the one that danni asked, same question for me to
Yes-you should discipline them for not looking aftrer themselves. You're not disciplining them for having diabetes-you're discplini ng them for misbehaving. God gave them diabetes.
@helvelyn I choose my 'battles' as well
2 from Julie, the first one, Julie, (Mum to Louis dx 2003, now 15 years old):
Is it possible for children to think about things in relative terms or is some information simply too much for them to cope with e.g. the recent tragedies, complications.
I have a bottom line they cannot negotiate. They know it and I know it. They still jump when I start counting down from ten though, so not sure if that will keep working as they get older!
When your kids mismanage, mostly the teens, they are actually asking for help. the more you treat mismanagement and irrespoonsibilty about the diabetes the more they will get the message that they have to do it and it's non-negotiable
Can't remember what we were not to discuss lol! We have had a lot of difficulty with Daniel's fear of hypos at night which we have discussed with him as well as the diabetic team but seems to make no difference he still has the fear....in fact its getting catchy because Kirsty now has the same fear!! Fred and I also feeling the fear because it has gone on for three years now!
Really? Wow. My daughter, after 10 years, still has no inclination of wanting to look after herself. She will do her bolus' or other medicine but only when prompted, she never ever remembers. She doesn' even hear the alarms on her sensor?
As they get older you can think about taking pirvilieges away! It really works, so well, it's unbeliveable
Jacqui - you are a good and pateint mother - lol. i count down form five
We just hope it does Jacqui, I always wonder what I will do if Marc just says NO!
Daniel is very good for a teenager....very routine with checking, injecting, eating etc....just the fear we can't seem to manage
mine only get 3
Jaqui and Marisa -we count to 3 lol !
@FI: The best thing is for him to have a sleep over with all of us from CWD in October-we'll fix him
... we have 10...
I think I would say to older teens that diabetes has taken away your insulin production but has not taken your life. You can have a big effect on how your life turns out
That's an offer you can't refuse Fiona!
Sounds good....but he did that last year and still the fear? CWD will have to think of something really good to overcome this fear...
I wonder if sometimes as I feel so sorry for Lizzie I make too many allowances and she is a right pain to her brothers at times but I guess she would have been like this without diabetes and it is simply normal life and nothing to do with diabetes.
sleepover sounds a great idea for the bigger ones
There's omething so healing about being with other kids who have it-just being together for a few days really sets things right
Fiona Do you leave drinks next to Daniels bed etc?
and the meter etc?
Yes I agree Joe
I think we missed Julie's question...
Is it possible for children to think about things in relative terms or is some information simply too much for them to cope with e.g. the recent tragedies, complications.
kid being together makes such a difference
@JacquiE: yeah-but Lizzie is so smart and sensitive-she's probably working you pretty well! tell her I said TOUCHE!
When both your kids have D it takes D out of the equasion and gives back the level playing field. We had 5 years with only one with D and the balance returned naturally when Joe was then diagnosed. Interesting isn't it?
repeat the question again
slightly off topic the new hamster we bought on the weekend died overnight...Daniel and Kirsty both worried that they went to bed fine and didn't wake up
Like for the kids Joe, it is great for the parents to be together as well as we all understand each others emotions. We have a holiday coming up where a big group of us stay in a place together and its as much for the parents as the children. Its not like FFL nothing organised, just lots of fun and swapping of ideas.
You tell that idiot thank you for confirming for you already knew-that there is no shortage of stupid. Clearly these kind of people are a a combination of stupid and sadistic at times, and I would protect my child as if someone were abusing them. Call them as many names as make you feel better and have your kids start screaming at them as well. They?re, as they say in the States, Knuckleheads!
yes Daniel goes to bed with everything next to him...drinks, caprisun for hypos, equipment the lot...sometimes find it under his pillow in the morning!
LOL
Some information is too much for them, absolutely! Most kids, in their own ways, already know this stuff-don?t ask me how they know, but on their own, in their own intuitive ways, know how serious this whole thing is. I don?t think rasing the spectre of impending doom and death serves any purpose EXCEPT maybe as a relief for the parents. Meaning, be careful who the message is intended for and is it ylour stuff or their stuff that you?re talking about-important not to dump in order for you to feel better!
I meant to send that one, not the one I just sent before-SORRY!
No problem!
I think I need to think more about what is about me or Marc!
I think that is true of both my two , Joe. They know and don't actualy want me to say it out loud. tom came so close to dying at diagnosis they ceratinly don't need any lessons on how close this D can get.
Kids must know a lot more than we sometimes realise. They must know that they dont go to the hospital and have eye checks for no reason. Sasha knows that we go to prevent and treat any problems that arise
@AI;leen: That is so important a question to probe, honestly, for yourself and for the sanity of your child!
Jessica knows at 10 but not sure she understands, I think there is a difference.
When Cam has brought up the subject a couple of times in the past I have said - yes - it can happen but its NOT going to happen to you. He hasn't questioned that yet. I son't know how I would answer if he asked me how I could be so sure...
Thanks Joe, and one I really have to think about!
"Is there a right age to talk about the dangers associated with type 1 diabetes"
Scaring the kids will definitely NOT make them be more resposnible, I can promise you that!
However, the fears that arose for Tom knowing this stuff at such an early age - and he did know it even as a toddler when as an adult I didn't know he could - it has taken technology, the right tools, which for us was cgms and the pump, to get him over it. We had to work at it purposefully.
Sorry, that question below is from Debra is asking,(mum to Bella dx age 2 now age 4 pumping since March 09 using medtronic/sils and some sensors funded part time use and Phoebe Non D age 6)
I ask again ... "Is there a right age to talk about the dangers associated with type 1 diabetes"
Jacqui, just wondering if the balance comes when the whole family has D? Then we would all be worrying about the same thing? I remember Daniel saying now he feels part of the diabetes family when he was diagnosed...
Yes-at every age is the right age-however, age appropriately, as you would discuss any other serious life issue with them.
I think they just want to get on with their lives as normally as possible and I guess if they want answers to any questions diabtetes related or not we just have to be ready with them.
Yup. Our joib is to carry the burden of fear, worry, anxiety and caring and make sure that they are as protected as possible-they'll learn what we know about life soon enough-why rush the process
@ Joe when you say scaring the children can you elaborate? thanks
my take on this is that you do pass on the information as you go along. Sometimes a situation presents itself and you need to explain. Before Sasha had her first eye screening tests I had to explain that having diabtes can effect the eyes so it was important to see if there were any problems to treat them early and to keep as good control as possible but avoiding serious hypos
That's what parents are for: to worry and nag, so let's get to it with a passion
lol!
Yes-talking to them aboiut the deatils of complications,is totally not the way to go. That's what i mean
Now this I am good at
Like, if you don't take care of yourself, your legs will fall off-NOT THE WAY TO DO IT!
Joe...How do you encourage an 11 year old boy to take more responsibility when his principle coping strategy is denial?
lol!
I dont talk to Sasha about complications but she is aware that they cant happen
I shall tell Elli I Joe's permission to nag with a passion
I felt I had to tell Sam about the long term complications when DUK had their hard hitting campaign. Would rather I told him than he see it on a poster
can or can't happen JJ?
yep get it!
good question Danni
Good, nagging, pestering, reminding, haraneing, annoying-all these things are in your parent job descriptions!
CAN I meant
Julie has a second question (Mum to Louis dx 2003, now 15 years old)
If we give our children too much information is it possible that instead of encouraging them to look after themselves they become almost fatalistic and overwhelmed by fear.
I guess the answer is just to find the balance so not to become overwhelmed with fear?
I am always doing that missing of the T
i nag day in and day out....its very tiring
I'm afraid I often say 'DUK are talking about undiagnosed Type 2' when we see their posters.
eek, think Danny would say I've let those cross the boundary into the wife job descriptions too!
To Danni: How do you get him to clean up his room? Do his homework? be nice to siblings? be respectful to adults? Use the same techniques and strategies that work in every other area of your life.
Yippee - I can do all those things - at last a job I am 100% qualified for!
ok - so what I'm getting form this is that we should be ready to discuss stuff with them when they wasnt to discuss it, be reassuring but not scare them too much, and be uncompromising in getting them to do the self care
Some information is too much for them, absolutely! Most kids, in their own ways, already know this stuff-don?t ask me how they know, but on their own, in their own intuitive ways, know how serious this whole thing is. I don?t think rasing the spectre of impending doom and death serves any purpose EXCEPT maybe as a relief for the parents. Meaning, be careful who the message is intended for and is it ylour stuff or their stuff that you?re talking about-important not to dump in order for you to feel better!
want to discuss it even - fingers faster than the old brain...
I think that being positive and praising kids for lots of things in life, not just diabetes related can help give them confidence
Yes marissa! exactly!
JD - our optician told me that most eye problems she sees are from undiagnosed type 2's so thats what I told Lizzie.
Agree JJ and Marisa as wel
thanks Joe
Most problems are from people that DON'T TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES!
I think you have maybe answered my questions in response to others (I need to read back and take it all in... my questions are.. I don?t know what the balance is between being real and not over-frightening Marc. Is it enough to tell teens of his age once about possible complications or the recent deaths or should you remind them every so often? Being a typical teen he doesn?t appear to take much in!
I think the not taking things in is a teenage self defebce mechanism sometimes
and selective hearing!
I don't think that's the way to go with teens or any kids for that matter. I think you have to let them know that taking care of themselves is non-negotiable and that you are happy to tralk with them about any and all of this stuff at their level of maturity.
they act daft when it suits them!
@marissa and part of the growing up and trying to be excepted? what happens when they feel they are so different from their peers?
My other concern is he believes his management is much better than many others he knows. (and from what he says it is) I think he does very well and don?t have concerns, but I do worry that one day he may think he?s doing well just because he is doing better than kids who hardly ever test or take insulin when they should.
Yes teens think that they are invincible whether it comes to driving fast cars or looking after themselves. I have a 21 year old (non D) who changed overnight from a selfish teen into a wonderful young lady
It's not a self defense machanism-teens are just brain dead from age 12-17 :-)
I say that to Jessica often 'we have no choice in this, we have to look after the diabetes'
Yes, I think teens hear things. They just don't 'show' you that they hear. I think thats why some parents feel the need to crank up the fear level and it is never useful. Same goes for school too.
Two more kids to go........
Look, you can belive what ever you want-the numbers don't lie and they are your compass in the land of management!
@ JJ apparantly that happened to me too !!
And, we're all entitled to our delusions, aren't we? :-)
12-17? Oh good - one year to go with my older son then - lol
Yep what a great analogy, a compass, will remember that one.
joe said "teens are just brain dead from age 12-17" I have notice that too sometimes
my son is still not accepting of the fact that he has diabetes
I say the same thing - it has to be done so lets just do it and then we can do some fun stuff, no point in moaning - we don't moan about brushing our teeth every day but that has to be done too - I sound awful now sorry but this what I say!
Make sure he wants to leave home-so start stopping with doiung his laundry right now or he'll never leave :-)
So it's just a case of saying this is how I believe it should be done and make sure he follows through... I only have one more year phew! Maybe I can relax more when he's 18!!
I like to moan as i do it, JacquiE-chacun a son gout :-)
he refuses to do his own injections which makes life difficult because im on my own with him
helen, let's talk off line about that e-mail at jsolowie@its.jnj.com
Other kids with D encourage injections etc. My youngest started injecting when his brother was diagnosed. healthy competition!
@Jacqui I have seen Elli do this, which suprised me as she used to be very responsive to anything we said to her. I have caught myself getting more cross as she seemed to be oblivious to what I was trying to get accross. But when I tried the say-it-once-calmly-and-then-leave-it-approach she went away and the next day came up with a great solution.
HI Joe I just wanted to say thank you for sparing time to come and talk to us all in the UK
Goodness, that's time up, that went fast! Joe has a plane to catch...
@ Helen, give him time he'll get there. A year is not long, he was ok for 11 of them and diabetic for one. He'll get there. Sounds like he needs a pump. Take Joe up on his offer and chat with him about it.
Guys-I gotta go and catch a plane. Big hugs to you all, or y'all, and hoping to see al of you in October :-) thank you for being so open and wonderful
Thank you Joe!
Thanks Joe
I am sure that you have given us quite a lot to think about and discuss further
Bye Bye everybody!
Yes, Joe, thanks so much, We got lots of advice and it's really appreciated
thanks joe!
Thanks for you time Joe. Much appreciated
Bye Joe thank you
thanks Joe really enjoyed and got a lot out of it wish I was at fFi... have a lovely flight!!
Thanks Joe
bye Joe!
bye have a safe trip
Thanks Joe! I'm off to the beach. See you all soon.
Have a pleasant journey Joe, take care
Have a good flight and well see you in October thanks again
thanks Joe, safe travelling
Thanks Joe
have a great flight Joe. Thanks for this great chat. Jacqui
@JD -
thanks joe
beach? Its cold and dark?
I am off to kiss daughter and feed husband - will someone be able to post the transcript of this on the list in the next day or so please?
Yes - I was wondering about the beach???
There's a pub on the beach and the sun is setting. Glass half full time Jackie!!! lol
@Aileen - that was really interesting...thanks for getting this organised
more alcohol?
taken me this long to realise why i didn't know what was happening..it is just showing the last 20 messages!! so didn't see start of thread lol!
Ah - a pbu! Er - what sun - it certainly isn't out up here!
Thanks Aileen
it pitch black here and wet. Pub on the beach setting sun..........have a drink on me
Enjoy Jacqui x
that sounds wonderful Jacqui
what was joes email address i didnt get it
Yep thanks Aileen, see you can move mountains woman, Scotland is nothing compared to what you can do xx
Night all must see hubby and kids...if you discuss more let me know !!! like my new mantra: "numbers are a compass in the land of management" lol x
Thanks Aileen and Jackie. Seemed really helpful.
I only helped Jackie
jsolowie@its.jnj.com
Thanks Jackie
Well you can read the transcripts later and see all my spelling errors
Yes - thank you Jackie and Aileen. I missed the beginning - but the end was really useful.
do you wan to move to the parents room?
Thanks Jackie
thanks angie
Aileen - thanks for this - Jo is so great - such sensible advice and being type 1 himself he knows what he is talking about. Must dash arsenal just scored against barcelona house is in uproar never heard so much screaming!
Thanks to Aileen for compliling the questions etc while I recovered from my Man Flu
Which I still have by the way LOL
must go for a cuppa now
Yes thanks ladies! See you in the UK next?
see some of you later
get well soon Jackie
Poor JJ and your man flu, look after yourself
Hope yoiu are feeling better soon JAckie. Going for tea now!
a cuppa though, we don't do cuppas on here...alcohol or nothing
Why are there still 22 users. Are you all doing what I am and hanging on in just in case.......
I think there is lots to take in and digest! We got through a lot, but never enough time
Ah now 16, ok I'm off now as well........
Oooo up to 17, someone can't decide. x
lol, no one is in the parents room... come to it
i'm still her but not here!
u all going!? lol Bye then
This room will close in five minutes. Please move to a new room.
|
|||
 |
 |
||
Last Updated: Wednesday April 07, 2010 09:42:27
This Internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other health care professional.
This site is published by Children With Diabetes, Inc, which is responsible for its contents.
By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Legal Notice, Privacy Policy, and Safe Harbor Policy.
© Children with Diabetes, Inc. 1995-2013. Comments and Feedback.