advertisement
 

  Back to Chat Transcripts Feelings Matter: Getting Support from your Family

Feelings Matter: Getting Support from your Family
With Dr. Richard Rubin

Chat Room Administrator chat@childrenwithdiabetes.com (206.112.197.133) Tue Nov 28 2000 20:28:55 Eastern US
The 'Feelings Matter' chat room is now open.

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:50:49 Eastern US
Ellen from 152.163.201.48
I'm ready :-)...

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:51:47 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Hi Ellen. Good to see someone is here.

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:52:08 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
I think it will be a few more min. before this really gets started.

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:52:53 Eastern US
Ellen from 152.163.201.48
I'm cooking dinner late tonight, so the laptop is in the kitchen

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:53:55 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
HELLO!

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:54:08 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:54:28 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
I will be back in a few min. I have to get Timothy in bed and he's playing with the GameBoy so it will be a struggle. see you soon...

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:54:40 Eastern US
Ellen from 152.163.201.48
Why Road?

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:54:47 Eastern US
howard from 12.78.204.186
Hi

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:55:05 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
Mom said she would make me dinner.. and she forgot... how does that happen? Now it's finally ready and I am a a tad low and I am mad and...god.. it's ready now.. i will bring it down here

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:56:14 Eastern US
Ellen from 152.163.201.48
Road, it was nice of her to make you dinner.
Hello Howard.

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:58:47 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
back...

Tue Nov 28 2000 20:59:05 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Howard still here?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:00:01 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Hi All. Welcome to the Feelings Matter chat. I'm delighted to welcome our guest host Dr. Richard Rubin. Richard is a good friend and a wonderful psychologist with super insight - on both a personal and a professional level - into the "feelings" side of dealing with diabetes. Our topic tonight is "Getting More Support from Family and Friends." Dr. Rubin should be joining us any minute now. This is a topic that comes up a lot on the chats and in questions to the DTeam.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:00:33 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Hi, everyone. This is Richard. Thanks for joining the chat. I'm interested in your experiences getting - or not getting - support when it comes to dealing with your diabetes.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:00:58 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Betty, is this more for people with D and their support or for parents of kids with D and getting familial support?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:01:16 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Hi Dr. Rubin. I recommend your book Sweet Kids to many parents of newly diagnosed children. It's a pleasure. Will you two be collaborating on an update?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:01:32 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Both, I hope.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:02:11 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Brenda, all aspects of support in dealing with diabetes in the family are fair game.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:02:12 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Anytime I can write with Betty I will.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:02:32 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\98) from 164.106.22.59
hello

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:02:52 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
As a parent of a child who has had diabetes for nearly 12 years, is it too late to hope that my husband can take an equal part in my son's care for the diabetes?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:03:26 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
12 years is a long time. What part does your husband help with now?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:03:27 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. from 205.188.197.39
hello:-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:03:30 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Hi everybody

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:03:37 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Thanks Richard -- and to you Ellen for the nice compliments.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:03:49 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Unfortunately, I think most of us parents have gotten little or no support from our families. I think that it could be because our families are afraid of diabetes, afraid they will do the wrong thing. Or, they feel it is not their job, but ours.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:04:10 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
hey how are you tonight

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:04:13 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
So what should we talk about?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:04:13 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Welcome, Mary, Heidyn, and and Dan.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:04:49 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
He does what I ask, but it never occurs to him on his own to remind my son to test bg, or change infusion set.....He still doesn't fully know the mechanics of the pump....but he knows some of it. He does go out and buy supplies when asked.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:05:20 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
This an exprience I think all of us share as parents of kids with diabetes. My son is now 29. I always tried to think of at least one thing other people could do to help. That seemed tro make everyone feel better.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:05:28 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Richard, my husband, Jeff, runs this web site. As for our daughter, he takes care of all her pre-breakfast BG tests and gets her breakfast while I sleep (well, sort of). I do the one or more middle of the night checks, which can last up to 45 min. when treating a low.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:06:23 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Boy, I guess we are very lucky here. Both our families are very good about helping out, with the exception of my dad

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:06:29 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Welcome RoadLT and din

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:06:32 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
ellen time for a vacation hubby will have to kick in even if its just aday away

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:06:44 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela,11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2 years) from 205.188.197.39
My husband does teh middle of the night checks..I'm a very heavy sleeper and he's a light one, and he takes care fo Angela's morning shot, too..

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:07:09 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
The key for many folks is to pick jobs, as Brenda and her husband have and make it clear who is to do what, so one parent doesn't have to run things.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:07:35 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Jeff does help with Marissa's pump cartridges, but I do the "nuts and bolts" -- basal and bolus rates, reminders about when to change the infusion set, etc. I have tried to teach our 10 yr. old how to use the meter, but it's been a while. She would know to get glucose tablets or something, in an emergency. I have reminded her to call 911 if there's ever an extreme emergency and no adults are around.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:08:05 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
What things do parents most appreciate when it comes to help from spouse or other family?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:08:31 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela,11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2 years) from 205.188.197.39
Richard..I think that even with doing that, most of it still falls on one parent over the other..usually mom

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:08:32 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
That is kind of how it works here. My wife works nights, so I have that shift, and she takes care of the day while I'm at work. Weekends we share equally

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:08:40 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
I would appreciate a one way ticket to Europe :-)!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:08:46 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
just say hubby ive been thinking of driving out to see billy bob and spending the day,, its been awhile since weve gotten together

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:08:59 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
It's those out of town trip times that are often rough for me. I usually burn the candle at both ends, needing to stay up late to do things and get up early, plus the middle of the night checks (not including any issues involving the other 2 kids LOL).

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:09:16 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
I have just enough frequent flyre miles for that.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:09:44 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
LOL - Ellen - that's got to be a sentiment that everyone shares at times!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:09:54 Eastern US
Renee (melissa, 17, dx'd at 9, pump 4.5 yrs) from 152.163.204.64
I was at a Moms support group today & someone commented that they'd done a program where family members were each "assigned" a task to stay invoved, but that other than good old Mom, the others all only did their part initially...

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:10:02 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Jeff managed quite well when I was out of town for about 34 hours! Of course, I took our 10 yr. old with me.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:10:33 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
I just can't imagine not having an active role in Jake's care

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:10:54 Eastern US
Renee (melissa, 17, dx'd at 9, pump 4.5 yrs) from 152.163.204.64
many of the moms in our group are disapppointed that the grandparents won't stay with the kids, claiming they're "afraid" they might do something wrong...

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:11:04 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
I have to agree with Dan.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:11:08 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
No one helps me. I do it all alone. Since I was about 14.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:11:49 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
We have no family members nearby so we're "it."

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:11:58 Eastern US
Renee (melissa, 17, dx'd at 9, pump 4.5 yrs) from 152.163.204.64
I wish you 2 dads WEREN'T the exception to the norm, but in the vast majority of families I know, the mom is doing about 90% of the diabetes care

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:12:05 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Who has had some success overcoming a relative's fears?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:12:08 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
yeah but moms bring it upon themselves sometimes.. i know ilike the control i have in the home but they should know how to do everything if anything ever happened to you .....

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:12:08 Eastern US
Steve (Allie - 14 - dx 6/97 pump 12/99) from 24.240.72.118
Hi all - just got here myself - and Dan, I also agree - i can not imagine not having had an active role in Allie's care (tho with a 14 y/o it's very different than with a little one)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:12:10 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Renee, I'll second that one....my parents have never had my son sleep over and they live 10 miles down the road....

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:12:13 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
We never change any of Jake's care without bouncing the idea off the other one

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:12:26 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Hi all! any tips on how to get family more involved w/out sounding too "over the top"? Recently our son slept over my sisters' house. She told him he'd have to tell her what to do. He didn't. He had a great time slept late,ate a late breakfast....For some bizzar reason none of this caught up with him!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:12:32 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Not totally true, Road, you said your mom made you dinner tonight. That counts for something! (you can tell I'm a mom--we want all the credit we can get LOL)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:12:43 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
I'll have to wait and see what that's like Steve!!:-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:13:22 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Richard, do you have any tips for helping those trying to "farm out" some specific tasks to others - how to help promote continued involvement?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:13:25 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
Brenda.. she offered.. so therefore I relied on her for that. SHe made me something I can't make.. it was like.. special. And she KNEW I hadn't eaten in 11 hrs.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:13:42 Eastern US
Steve (Allie - 14 - dx 6/97 pump 12/99) from 24.240.72.118
Sorry to be off-topic for a second - but Robin - we've made it to the MetroWest.....send me an email

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:13:54 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
then she sat back at her computer and totally forgot

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:14:24 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\98) from 164.106.22.59
When I was dx'd @ 17,the doctors educated both me and my mom,but it was like I was expected to be totally responsible since I have the better memory,it didn't work out to collaberate on issues which may have worked if I was younger

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:14:25 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
when i was little mom would like.. jump when i said i was hungry.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:14:45 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
I've found the best way to get longterm buyin is to have the person pick an activity he or she thinks its possible to maintain. When it comes to diabetes care there are lots of possibilities.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:14:56 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Robin, Jay is probably still in his honeymoon period and a later morning shot wasn't too critical. At 17, I'm sure it's hard for him to be "babied" for lack of a better word.
Road, that's a long time without food! Were you ok? Do you use a pump? Marissa does and can go without food.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:15:40 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
sorry also Hi Steve Welcome!! My comp crashed & I lost address book e-mail me at Lessaturtle@aol.com k?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:15:52 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Road, that's what we all do. It's second nature for us parents to drop everything when our child with diabetes needs us.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:16:05 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela,11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2 years) from 205.188.197.39
Renee and Ellen..my kids have never slept at theri grnadparents, regardless of D, except for teh times I was in the hospital addign another addition to teh family...although my mother-in-law was wodnerful when Chris was dx'd..Stayed at our haouse for the week so Joe and I could go back and forth to teh hospital

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:16:24 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
Brenda, yes I am on the pump.. just started this month.. and yes I was ok... but my tummy was growling and when I tested I was 58... so I really did need to eat.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:16:41 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Road, maybe she got tired from jumping...she probably jumped a lot worrying if you were hungry and not expressing it too.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:16:45 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
brenda she doesn't do that anymore for me

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:17:19 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Road, did you take something fast acting like OJ to bring up your bg until the meal was ready?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:17:32 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
i think the whole thing can become such a control thing we are not helping my oldest looks after herself and when the numbers are off i dont take it personally and neither is she show me adiabetic with perfect numbers all of the time its not possible no matter what you do

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:17:49 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
Road, it is a little different since you are older. She probably expects you to take more responsibility now.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:18:00 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
He is in honeymoon period but still I'd like more from sis. All she has managed so far is to ask if she can shoot him in the butt!! He says no but I can tell it bothers him. It really bugs me!!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:18:02 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
Ellen.. no because she said dinner would be ready really quick! then i went upstairs and it wasn't even started.. so I grabbed some milk was all.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:18:30 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
Brenda.. she really doesn't care anymore.. she only sits at her computer playing casino games online... or she is at work..that's it!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:18:42 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
she doesn't even hear me talk when she is on her computer

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:19:02 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
So, Richard, are you suggesting just laying it on the line "I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed and could use some help with Johnny's diabetes stuf? Is there something you could do to help me on a regular basis?" Is there a better way to ask?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:20:02 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
hello everyone

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:20:03 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
Hi all :-) The chat sounded very interesting, so I thought I should stop by.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:20:31 Eastern US
Brenda H. (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 10.0.1.3
And, Richard, how do we deal with people, even relatives, who ask "when will he outgrow his diabetes?" or "can he really eat that cookie?"

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:20:46 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Betty, I'd say that's just about right, though I might remind what things there are to do and be sure to add thanks for anything that's already being done.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:20:58 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
din - you said an important mouthful there, about perfect control not being possible. Accepting that one reality can help take off some of the pressure.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:21:07 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\98) from 164.106.22.59
but you know,even when you outgrow the need for parent monitering-its good to know if they care without bugging you

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:21:30 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Brenda, I'd just say that it doesn't work that way but it would be wonderful if it did.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:21:42 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Hi Connie and Sharon

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:22:21 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
betty say honey i need you to get up to date on little jonny diabetic care cause if something happened to me i need to know you could do it

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:22:52 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
I asked the ped endo "will my son outgrow the diabetes" at diagnosis. I don't mind educating others...even if it seems they'll never understand.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:23:05 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
how do i get my husband to learn & understand about diabetes so that he can not only be an active participant in our kid's care, but not do/offer things thatcould be detrimental to their health?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:23:33 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Thanks, Ellen. Some of us have more patience than others.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:23:46 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
din-i fear for my children should anything ever happen to me. their dad just couldnt do it

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:23:55 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
brb

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:24:12 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
very true, Heidyn - partnof the support is just knowing that people are there and they care and that they know how hard you're working

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:25:10 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Its so sad for everyone when care isn't shared.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:25:11 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela,11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2 years) from 205.188.197.39
Sharon..my hubby goes with me to endo appointments..he learns right along with me..

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:25:45 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
How about introducing less involved dads to more involved ones?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:26:36 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
That would take involvement right there Richard

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:26:44 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
my dad and i were really close.. till i got d.. then he steered clear.. like he was afraid of me. he didn't learn anything

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:26:49 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
well my kids were diagnosed at the same time both before christmas this time las t year and i still had one of my own at home and 2 preschool foster kids he was trainned by hospital staff same time as me and it was help or watch the mommy fall apart

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:27:35 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
my parents are divorced now.. they divorced in 1997 after 23 yrs of marriage

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:27:59 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Richard, any insight into why dads so often seem to be less involved in the diabetes. Is it something that happens at diagnosis and is then just continued -- like perhaps the health team assuming Mom will bear most of the load?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:28:01 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
That can really help Richard! My husband met a dad at our endo office who was very involved with his kid's care. It seemed to inspire him to get involved in Angie's care.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:28:39 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
ok-i'm back & hope i can stay on. daughter just came home & is very chatty LOL

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:28:41 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
no people this is wrong you can do it alone but you need some one i educated my 15 year old babysitter she does needles and all your life does not need to stop

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:29:14 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
I honestly believe all the lack of involvement we are talking about stems from fear. If we can deal with that, we can solve the problem. What are the people who resist involvement afraid of?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:29:24 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Wow, Road - it sounds like you've had your hands full for quite a while

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:29:55 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Sharon, how old are your kids?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:30:26 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
i have already figured out that no one cares about me anymore. just a matter of time before...

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:30:28 Eastern US
Angie (mom of Blake 6 (dxd 3) pumping) from 24.14.78.69
Hi everyone

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:30:29 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Having to deal with a low & not knowing how...........or a high

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:30:32 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
gabi is 12 & steve is 6

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:30:32 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela,11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2 years) from 205.188.197.39
I think they're afaid they're going to hurt the child...

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:30:40 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Definitely afraid of doing something wrong

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:31:07 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Mary, I think you are right. So how do we deal with that?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:31:13 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
they are afraid if they learn they will need to be responsible and its bigggggg life or death sometimes but the risks arent sooo bad as we let ourselves see themm (worse case scenario)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:31:15 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
it makes me insane when hubby goes to the cabinet & opens a bag of chips before dinner, things like that. no care for the kids feelings.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:31:32 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Sharon, was your husband involved in the day to day stuff with the kids before dx?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:31:34 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
Hi Angie :-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:31:37 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
so its not only D care. its so much more than that

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:32:02 Eastern US
RoadLT (20 dx'd 10/90) from 24.149.14.121
bye

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:32:13 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
not much dan :-(
got worse when gabi was dx, and now since steve's dx, it's like he is not even here

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:32:26 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela,11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2 years) from 205.188.197.39
It's hard for us as moms to let go sometimes, too, and let other people help..I think they sense this too and are sometimes hesitant to offer

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:33:02 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
The folks here care, Road. Several of them have reached out to you tonight -- that's not the same as having someone close at hand, I know, but it's something.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:33:22 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
ROAD STOP you are scaring me life is abeautiful thing it is what YOU make it not what people decide for you now stop let this be the day your life changes FOR THE BETTER

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:33:22 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
I think that a lot of the dads that aren't involved with the D care weren't involved before dx

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:34:05 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
i think you are right.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:34:46 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Mom took care of all the kid stuff before dx, so why change now.....bad way to look at it, but I have a feeling that's the case

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:34:56 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
it is such a burden though. i need to return to work now, but am very afraid of what this will mean for my children.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:35:02 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Where do you turn for support when your spouse isn't available?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:35:14 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela,11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2 years) from 205.188.197.39
and as far as dads go..like dan says, the ones who were involved BEFORE teh dx, and the ones who will be involved AFTER..you really can't change other people that much..

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:35:48 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
i do it all. everything. no help from hubby at all. i am at my wits end

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:36:11 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
I don't think it matters why they're not involved. Important thing is how to get them there so the moms don't go nuts!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:36:12 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
And then the ante goes up because of fear after dx, and they step away even more. Richard, can the fear factor be addressed head-on or is there another route that might be more productive?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:36:28 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
I think a lot of the dads have the same fears we had - of making mistakes and causing irreparable harm. As moms, we've had no choice, so we've made mistakes and found out how to learn from them...and now we know what risks we can take (estimating how much insulin to take etc...without fears of severe lows....) but it took a lot of experience to become as competent as we became. My husband needs to gain experience...so he can feel good about guessing ....because we all know diabetes is not cut and dry.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:36:59 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
sharon, I think you need to get in his face, hold his hand at the beginning, and MAKE him take some of the load

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:37:25 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
I think dealing with it by expressing your own fears - and we all have them - might be the best way to get the issue of fears on the table.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:37:56 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\98) from 164.106.22.59
my dad was has always been supportive,even though he didn't go through the diabetes education program at dx like my mom,he still tried to help

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:38:03 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\98) from 164.106.22.59
the best he could

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:38:26 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Finally got the boys to bed - had to fight to get Joshua to eat. Aaaarrrugh

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:38:30 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Sharon,give him a crash course then go out with your friends for an evening!?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:38:44 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
it's true, of course. nothing like admitting your own fears to give people the space to verbalize their own.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:39:07 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
my daughter hates when we nag her about what she eats

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:39:09 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
easier said than done dan. i have come to lean on the endo so much. i feel so grateful that HE is so supportive. i never would have been able to handle this without the endo. i want to say that about my husband. he talks about the kids & the diabetes to others, about how hard it is...but how would HE know?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:39:23 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Toninette, have you read the book Sweet Kids by Brackenridge and Rubin? It really helps with those food battles!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:39:48 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
are we chatting about something in particular?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:39:59 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
yes sharon go out baby steps

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:40:06 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
i DO go out. after kids are fed, bathed, tested & given shots. gabi does her own care. if i were to leave it to hubby, gabi would be caring for steve. that's not fair to either.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:40:24 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Ellen - I have....awhile ago. I need to dig it out and read it again. We have moved and lots of stuff still in storage....like all of our books.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:40:30 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Dr. How DO you remind a 17 yr. old w/out becoming a nag?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:41:33 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
I was wondering the same thing Robin!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:41:47 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Toninette - chat is about how to get more support from family and friends

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:41:52 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Robin, Thats a tough one. You can't hope to succeed unless the kid wnats to be reminded. If you get that far, ask him or her what is acceptable.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:42:19 Eastern US
Angie (mom of Blake 6 (dxd 3) pumping) from 24.14.78.69
Sharon, maybe you and Gabi could have a girl's night out, and let the guys get better "acquainted".

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:42:27 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Sharon, is there a peds support group where you live - somewhere where you could get support from other parents - preferably with hubby too?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:42:46 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Ask him! $5 stupid fee for me!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:42:48 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
sharon take your daughter to the mall
robin there is no answer for that

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:43:42 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Thanks BettyB - I would like my parents to become more involved with Joshua but they are scared of him still. My sister watched Joshua for 10 minutes while I picked up my other son from Kindergarten. I got home and Joshua had an insulin reaction. My sister was very freaked out. She did what I had taught her but she won't be alone with him now.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:43:42 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\98) from 164.106.22.59
Robin- my parents just did it-whether I liked it or not They won't understand now,but that's ok maybe they will later(speaking from experience(

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:43:52 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
lol angie. i would come home to a blood sugar of 400+!!!! that's my fear. and unfortunately, hubby thinks it no big deal. i feel like i am beating this horse to death-i wont complain anymore. sorry-having a rotten day

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:44:05 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\98) from 164.106.22.59
the kid won't understand,that is

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:44:46 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Sharon, we all have those days. Sorry its so hard. I hope you have someone to lean on among your family or friends.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:44:48 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
we go to groups every month. hubby doesnt go to endo visits, or groups, he is always at work. a large part of the problem.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:45:09 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
No need to apologize sharon, that's what everyone is here for

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:45:31 Eastern US
Beth (Sara, 17) from 24.224.24.218
Hello.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:45:34 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Heidyn Did you resent being reminded or was it helpful to you?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:45:39 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
on the other hand, my friends & family are wonderful. so are the parents of my kid's friends. i can leave my kids when i need to. even have trained teenage sitters for my son. no problems in that area. not ALL bad :-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:45:40 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Sharon - what are your kids ages?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:45:49 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Sharon, any chance to attend a family diabetes camp weekend?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:45:52 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
thanks dan

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:45:53 Eastern US
texas advocates (i 'm married .34 have disablities work used to belong self advocates) from 209.246.135.20
hello any one want to talk to cyndral to chat

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:46:11 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\98) from 164.106.22.59
mixed reactions,Robin,some of both

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:46:22 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
hi Beth

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:46:23 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
Hi Beth

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:46:33 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
not sure. i think that sounds like a good idea. we paln to go to orlando in july. that is...if he doesnt back out. he is good for that

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:46:59 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. from 205.188.197.39
Sharon..give the gir;s night a try..and if teh bg's are 400, give steve some extra insulin..(or ahve your hubby do it and tell him he's still "on duty":-) )

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:47:24 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
hubby couldnt give a shot if there was a gun to his head!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:48:00 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Those of you trying to involve parents, kids, babysitters-- have you checked to see if there's a "babysitter course for DM" offered in your town? Soem training might give these folks more confidence -- and you might feel more conmfident letting them try their wings. Learing everything the way parens do is very time consuming -- a well-designed little course on the basics can be a great kick-start

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:48:02 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Thanks Heidyn I MADE myself not remind him 1 day He did o.k. but said he thought I didn't care anymore

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:48:45 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Robin, that says a lot doesn't it?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:49:06 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
BettyB - what is DM?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:49:25 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Sharon, want me to hold the gun? LOL

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:49:45 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Sharon, Orlando should be wonderful -- and he will surely see a lot of good role models there of dads very engaged in their kids diabetes

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:49:46 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
BettyB - never mind - I finally got it. duh

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:49:52 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
no ellen-i put in the time-i get to do it!!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:49:58 Eastern US
din (2dxd12?99 12) from 198.164.200.218
i gotta go nice talking to you all. and road if you are watching life is not all bad

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:50:15 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\10\98) from 164.106.22.59
Robin,does he do all or most of it himself?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:50:20 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Sorry! DM is shorthand for Diabetes Mellitus! My goof -- leftover from day at the office!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:50:21 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
You hold the gun Ellen, I'll hold him down:-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:50:40 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
Nite Din :-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:50:52 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Good chatting with all of you. I got to go to bed or the 2nd graders will eat me alive tomorrow!:-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:50:56 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. from 205.188.197.39
Ellen..I was wondering if sharon needed to borrow a gun:-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:51:14 Eastern US
Angie (mom of Blake 6 (dxd 3) pumping) from 24.14.78.69
Sharon, my endo has this model that shows how blood flows at a normal range, and how it flows when blood sugars are high. When high, it looks like molasses, and you can just imagine how it affects internal organs. I have to say, this image has been imprinted in my mind! For anyone who doesn't think high sugars are any big deal, they need to see this!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:51:19 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
goodnight din, Robin

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:51:27 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Dan, I'm actually quite a pacifist...but I could be convinced to hold a water squirt gun with ice water in it!!!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:51:34 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Night Robin and din

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:51:51 Eastern US
Robin (son,Jay,17,dx'd 8/00) from 152.163.213.73
Heidyn I have to ans. you! He does all himself but needs lots of reminders when! Nite!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:52:05 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
Goodnight Robin

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:52:19 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\10\98) from 164.106.22.59
goodnight Robin

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:52:40 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Ellen, I think a vise grip in a strategically located area would be more beneficial

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:52:42 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Angie - I have seen different BG models - one that is "normal" and the other two are 200 and 400 - looks like bbq sauce - and runs like it too. Helps the non D people see what it is like.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:53:20 Eastern US
Beth (Sara, 17) from 24.224.24.218
Ellen's a pacifist?? Oh my.....wonder what that makes me?? *lol*

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:54:03 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela 11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2years) from 205.188.197.39
Dan..my hubby helps out ALOT..really he does!!LOL

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:54:21 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
I really do have a hard time when I hear about all these dads that just won't get involved...and it has nothing to do with giving the rest of us a bad rap, I just don't get how a person can remove themselves from their kids like that

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:54:56 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Toninette and Angie -- there are little tubes called "Glucose Wands" - about $15 bucks for the set -- a "normal BG" wand and a "high BG" -- they do make believers out of people to whom a blood sugar number means nothing!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:55:07 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\10\98) from 164.106.22.59
When I was dx'd my parents were so scared they didn't want me to go away to collage for at least 3 years-it took awile of good control to convinve them otherwise

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:55:17 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
The teachers at Joshua's preschool were more than willing to let me give them a short class on what to look for in case Joshua is low. They are fabulous! When he goes to Kindergarten I will feel better because his class will be right across from the principals office and he has diabetes also.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:55:19 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Getting support feels so good to those who get it, and missing it hurts so much. It was a relief to hear that Sharon has family and friends who help. Those of us in families where the work is shared would love to bottle whatever magic we have and send it to everyone who needs it.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:55:36 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
i agree dan. but i must admit: my best friend is a more "hands-off" mom than her husband is "hands-on" dad. i guess its just different strokes...

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:56:05 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
BettyB - where can I get my hands on them? Sounds like a good deal!

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:56:41 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Sharon - is your husband scared? Or have you already been down this chat path?

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:56:42 Eastern US
Heidyn (dx' 12\10\98) from 164.106.22.59
gotta go,goodnight all

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:56:42 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Gotta test Jake...brb

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:57:09 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Richard -- thanks so much -- your last statement says a lot -- as for more information on support, isn't there a chapter in "Psyching Out Diabetes?"

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:57:26 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
I think once one gives him/herself a shot of saline, it's easy to discover the injecting part of diabetes is the least troublesome. If only it was as easy as just giving a couple of shots per day and the rest of the diabetes took care of itself. But it's the 24/7/365 relentless chronicity that gets to me. Everytime my son wakes in the middle of the night, I have to wonder if his bg is high or low...

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:57:32 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
Nite Heidy

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:57:39 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
i think it just hurts so much, knowing that the father of my babies, doesnt even want to understand half of what they go thru everyday. the tests, shots, food issues, my little one in counseling because of dx.....so many aspects

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:58:18 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Betty, thanks. Every chapter of the book ends with a section written especially for family members.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:58:24 Eastern US
Beth (Sara, 17) from 24.224.24.218
And that part doesn't go away even when they're not living with you.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:58:27 Eastern US
AC (Diabetic for 9 years) from 199.166.6.10
hi everyone

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:58:40 Eastern US
Mary from Ma. (Angela 11, dx'd @ 9 and Chris 10, dx'd @ 4, pump 2years) from 205.188.197.39
Dan..I think it's a personality thing, too..my husband was always involved with our kids and we've always had a team approach to parenting, you know, if i'm not around he cooks and bathes the kids and if he's not there, I do it..I remeber we used to fight over bath times when our kids were little..so it's not surprising that he'd be involved with their D care..

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:58:48 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
toninette- i think its more a combo of things, and not sure if fear is one of them. i think its hard for him to accept that there is something "wrong" with one of his kids

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:59:07 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Toninette - they're made by a company called Ideabetes. I dont know the phone number right off the top of my head. But if you'll check our center's website (www.diabetestraining.com) we're going to be offering them starting some time in december. We sell them to diabetes educators as a great teaching tool.

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:59:10 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Hello AC

Tue Nov 28 2000 21:59:28 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
Hi AC :-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:00:03 Eastern US
Chat Host: Richard Rubin from 205.188.192.189
Thanks to everyone for participating. It's way past my bed time here in Baltimore, so I'm going to say good night. I hope our chat has gotten you thinking of new ways to get the support you need and deserve.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:00:06 Eastern US
AC (Diabetic for 9 years) from 199.166.6.10
hey connie how's it going?

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:00:15 Eastern US
Beth (Sara, 17) from 24.224.24.218
I think my husband really believes that he's a help. And to a certain extent he is. He's gotten more involved the last year or so finally.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:00:21 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
ok, I'm back:-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:00:23 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
That's what I thought, Richard. People who are interested can find Richard's book "Psyching Out Diabetes" on Amazon.com - there's probably a link directly to it from his biography posted for tonight's chat.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:00:47 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Sharon - what does he do when you try talking to him about this?

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:00:50 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Goodnight Richard, thanks

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:00:58 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
It's going ok, thanks. How are you tonight?

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:01:09 Eastern US
AC (Diabetic for 9 years) from 199.166.6.10
how old are you connie and when did you get diabetes?

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:01:28 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
nite richard...thanks for listening :-)

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:01:43 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Richard - thanks so very much! And thanks to all of you for sharing with each other tonight. Hope to see you again on another chat very soon. Night from Arizona.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:01:57 Eastern US
AC (Diabetic for 9 years) from 199.166.6.10
i'm doing okay. a little stressed out with school and stuff. recently my bf and i broke up. it's been a lot to deal with. next tues would have been our 1 year.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:02:12 Eastern US
Angie (mom of Blake 6 (dxd 3) pumping) from 24.14.78.69
Goodnight, Richard. Thanks!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:02:15 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
toninette: he listens for a minute, then says he knows. doesnt want to be taught. says when i try to teach i make him feel incompetent

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:02:34 Eastern US
Connie (Angie; 17, dx'd 2/00; pump 8/00) from 209.181.68.103
I don't have diabetes, my daughter Angie does

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:02:43 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Richard and Betty thank you. I think that it should start at diagnosis...the medical team should drive home the fact that EVERYONE in the family has to put in 100% when it comes to the diabetes care, and it should be reiterated.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:02:46 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Are we done? Please say some people are staying! I got in on the chat late and still need to communicate!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:03:14 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
The room will stay open for a few more minutes and those of you remaining can move to one of the other rooms when it closes. Good Night All!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:03:24 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Sharon - did you tell him you arn't trying to make him feel that way, but you and the kids need him?

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:03:39 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
What room?

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:03:48 Eastern US
AC (Diabetic for 9 years) from 209.239.16.141
oh really. i see. how old is she? i have diabetes myself and i thought this chat room would help me out. i might be able to find people to start chatting through e-mail and get help and opinions when i need them

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:03:54 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
of course toninette. you just cant REACH some people.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:04:05 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Toninette, if this room disappears, move to the parents room!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:04:46 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
That hour went by so fast!!!! Maybe this room should ALWAYS be open.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:04:54 Eastern US
BettyB (Chat Moderator) from 205.188.195.52
Sharon -- to learn you have to admit you don't know -- and that's awfully hard for some folks -- it may be easier for him to hear it from someone else -- there will be a dad's forum run by dads at the Orlando meeting if I remember correctly

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:04:55 Eastern US
Jeff Hitchcock (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 206.112.197.133
I'll keep this room open for a while, but I suggest moving to the parents room to continue.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:04:57 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
Thanks Ellen. Sharon - sorry - wish I could use some magic dust and smack him upside the head with it!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:04:58 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
i need to go to sleep. i will be up doing bg checks all nite again. steven is running very high bg's for no apparent reason. i treated & now will check for lows all nite. i hate this game of ping-pong!!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:05:17 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
i want to use my frying pan for that toninette!!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:05:35 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
LOL

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:05:45 Eastern US
Dan (Jake 4, dx 3/98) from 63.38.226.244
Goodnight sharon, keep your chin up

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:05:47 Eastern US
sharon (2 kids with D) from 165.247.42.56
nite everyone-thanks for listening to me complain tonite. like i said-bad few days. have a good nite sleep & good bg's!!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:06:01 Eastern US
Toninette (mom of Joshua - 3 1/2 dx'd 18 months) from 216.170.20.30
I"m going to Parents room....see you all there.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:06:05 Eastern US
Ellen (FL) (Zachary 13, dx 2/89, pump 5 years) from 152.163.201.48
Sharon, have you considered the pump?

Thanks Jeff.

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:06:13 Eastern US
Angie (mom of Blake 6 (dxd 3) pumping) from 24.14.78.69
I'm heading to bed - this head cold is wiping me out! Good night!

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:07:07 Eastern US
AC (Diabetic for 9 years) from 209.239.16.141
connie you still here?

Tue Nov 28 2000 22:08:04 Eastern US
Jeff Hitchcock (Marissa, 13--dx'd 9/89) from 206.112.197.133
I think everyone's heading to the Parents room.

I will be closing this room in five minutes.



                 
  Home Return to Top

Last Updated: Thursday August 29, 2002 21:04:28
This Internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other health care professional.

This site is published by T-1 Today, Inc. (d/b/a Children with Diabetes), a 501c3 not-for-profit organization, which is responsible for its contents.
By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Legal Notice, and Privacy Policy.
© Children with Diabetes, Inc. 1995-2015. Comments and Feedback.