From Sacramento, California, USA:
I am almost 30 years old and was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes seven months ago. My mother died of diabetes very young, and it has always been a nightmare of mine. My HbA1c was 6.9% and my fasting blood sugar was 155 mg/dl [8.6 mmol/L]. My doctor put me on a diet (I have over 60 pounds to lose).
I was very determined to lose weight and eat healthy, but it seems I have become more depressed about diabetes. I think I am in denial. I haven't lost a pound, and I feel like a huge failure. I periodically eat sweet junk food. I am afraid to go back to my doctor,and have him find that didn't lose any weight and my A1c is probably higher. I am very concerned, yet I feel very depressed and don't feel like doing anything right for diabetes. Please advice of how much damage I must have done within these six months. I am praying I will get out of this depression and pay attention to a healthier life.
It sounds like you are conflicted about succeeding in your efforts to manage your diabetes better. Sometimes, we have a fear of success that escapes our awareness. I would recommend working with a "coach" or counselor about what succeeding really means to you. Additionally, physicians are not our parental figures, and you need to be clear about that fact. Being afraid that a doctor will "be mad at you" for missing the mark in your attempt to lose weight just perpetuates the victim role for you. Your doctor should be a partner and a support, not an authoritarian figure. Maybe you need to change doctors to start out on a more equal footing?
Failure is not an option unless you choose it. It is okay to fall short of your goals -- just make new and attainable goals and begin again. We are, indeed, our own worst enemy in life. Make a decision to be your own advocate and friend. Stop hurting yourself with food. Just take a day at a time -- a meal at a time. Try not to look at months and years. I know it is hard. It is possible to win the battle with yourself.
[Editor's comment: If you haven't seen a dietitian, I urge that you do so. A dietitian who is experienced in diabetes, should be able to help you set realistic goals and establish a meal plan that eliminates the no foods. If you have a satisfying meal plan, your weight loss will be easier. SS]
Last Updated: Tuesday April 06, 2010 15:09:16
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