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Question: From Los Angeles, California, USA: My younger sister died almost four years ago, at the age of 21 as a result of DKA [diabetic ketoacidosis]. She struggled for years with depression and had a terrible time keeping her blood sugar down to a reasonable level. Some people seemed to feel this was because she didn't take proper care of herself; others seem to think that some people can't get blood sugars under control no matter how hard they try. I sometimes feel terribly angry, like her refusal to take responsibility for her health has caused this grief, like a slow suicide. Other times I am ashamed and think I should have more compassion for how difficult it was for her. I think it would help me to talk with other people who have lost loved ones to diabetes at a young age, but I don't know where to find them. Is there specialized therapy available to those who lost people to chronic illnesses? I understand if you wouldn't want to post this -- it's not exactly encouraging to all the young parents of little kids with diabetes, but any direction you could give would be greatly appreciated. Thanks very much. Answer: I appreciate your question, and you have every right to write it. Your grief is complicated and unique to your own situation. I am so sorry you lost your sister and know how difficult it is for anyone to find peace following such a loss. Your sister was young and had a difficult disease to navigate. As you look back, I am sure you have various feelings, and you are correct in stating that you need somewhere to process all of the conflicting feelings -- a safe place to be heard. In Los Angeles, there are a variety of personal support groups. Even if they do not focus on diabetes singularly, living beyond loss is a common basis for many of these groups. Please seek out one that most suits your needs and give it a try. If it doesn't feel right, try another. Give some local psychiatrist offices a call and ask for a referral to a local group that deals with complex grief reactions. Better yet, call a few mental health agencies and ask the same question." What groups exist for people who have lost loved ones to illness or sudden death?" Finally, I offer my own beloved quote that seems to reflect what you are feeling: Death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship which struggles on in the mind of those left behind toward a conclusion it might never reach. Very responsible people have died with DKA [diabetic ketoacidosis]. Your sister might well have tried the best she could and lost the struggle. You might be fortunate enough to find a therapist who knows this and can help you through this traumatic time in your life. CMB DTQ-20021004191522 Original posting 9 Oct 2002 Posted to Community Resources

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			Jump to a new section --[ Getting Around ]-- Home Page What's New Privacy Policy Search --[ People ]-- Family Support Network Adults with Diabetes Care Photos Chat Rooms Conferences Kids with Diabetes Parents Parent Humor Scholarships and Financial Aid Grandparents Humorous Tidbits Jobs Mailing Lists CWD Forums Poetry and Art Videos Polls Quilt for Life Surveys Blogs --[ Clinic ]-- Ask the Diabetes Team Alternate Site Testing Alternative Treatments Care Suggestions CWD Español Diabetes Basics Diabetes at School 504 Plans Diabetes Camps Diabetes Dictionary Insulin Pumps Nutrition Podcasts Presentations Products Product Marketplace Sports Studies Warning Signs --[ Sources ]-- News and Information Diabetes Advocacy Links to Other Web Sites Press Releases Regional Information Services Support Groups --[ Feedback ]-- About CWD Advertise Awards Contribute Your Experiences Disclaimer Letters to the Editor Logos and Linking Share our Brochures

Last Updated: Tuesday April 06, 2010 15:09:37
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