From Southampton, Hampshire, England:
I have had diabetes for 12 years now and have had problems with it for three years now. The problem is I don't like to do my blood tests at all. So, because of this, I do not check my sugars which means I have started to not bother doing all my shots every day. I know that this will cause major problems for me, now and further on in life but I just can not snap out of it. Its not that I'm lazy or trying to rebel, and yes, I feel sick when I don't do my shots, but I cant stop myself now.
My A1cs have gone all the way up to 14% this year, but then I managed to get it back down to 9%. However, since then, I've gone back to my old routine, and nothing my doctors can say is helping.
Please can you recommend something I can do or change because I just don't know what to do any more. I know I'm doing this to myself, and I know that only I can change, but I have really nearly given up. My thought is, I am doing this to myself, not to anyone else so who cares?
It is very normal to get sick of checking blood sugars and sick of taking shots, especially if you have been living with diabetes for 12 years! So, please stop feeling guilty -- what you are feeling is not uncommon. However, you correctly point out that the consequences of hating to do the diabetes tasks is that your hemoglobin A1c is high, you do not feel well, and you are seriously increasing your risk for health problems. So, something has to change.
I strongly encourage you to talk with your parents and see if they would be willing to check your blood sugars for you and give you your insulin. Even if you try this as a one week experiment, you might be surprised by how much better you feel (getting your insulin as you need it). Also, talk with your diabetes team to see if they have a psychologist or other mental health professional that you can talk to.
Again, your feelings are very normal, and talking with a counselor who is familiar with diabetes might help you feel less burned-out by your diabetes. Finally, you may wish to read the book Diabetes Burnout: Preventing It, Surviving It, Finding Inner Peace by William Polonsky.
Original posting 28 Sep 2003
Posted to Behavior
Last Updated: Tuesday April 06, 2010 15:09:50
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